silence tears through my head.

As I lay my head down, all that wanders its way through my thoughts is silence. Complete and utter silence. That completely terrifies me. Knowing that theres nothing swimming its way around me. Feeling nothing. At all. When I know of this freedom that is out there. This love that I can hold on to instead of feeling so alone in my own sorrow. Self-pity. I can hear my own heart beating, praying that it'll die down. Beat by beat, it'll get slower, and cause pain. Pain to end. I hunger for something more. Much more than this. But as I get ready to pretend everything is okay, that almost everything is together, I just wish for its ending. And silence while I sleep.