new blog.

so i made a new blog today. using a different blog site. i have no idea why. it just felt like i needed something new. like i always need something new. new hair. new looks. new everything. now i just feel the need for a new life. and i know thats not something thats easily done. starting over is pretty dang hard. but why do i feel like it's impossible? i know i can change. and if i don't by next week then im pretty much fucked. but i can make it out of this. even if they wont back me up. even if i am wounded. im still slowing walking. struggling, you may call it. but im making it. betray my trust, and its a friendship pretty much betrayed too.
if you do this, i don't know how i'm supposed to trust you ever again. i've known you longer than anybody else i know now. but that doesnt matter to you, does it? my life doesn't.. you just want what's best for you. in your best interest. and telling my life story to earn yourself points. nice one. im fine. my life is okay. im not suicidal. so why tell her? why hurt me? why even know me? i'm not sure if i can keep up with you anymore.
but do you know what...i. still. love. you.