starting to break

It's funny that as we grow up, the memories of our childhood begin to fade away. Seeing the way our parents used to care and want to do things for us, just seems like a joke. A sick joke. Because now all they want to do is criticise everything about you, and everything you do. Nothing is good enough for them. Unless you're asleep. Which you might as well be dead. It's sad to think they only care about you for the first 10 years of your life. You're lucky if it's even that long.
But I've learnt that family doesn't always care for you. They're just people you live with, that you have the same blood as, and either love or you don't. Sure, I love them. But we don't bond. There is only very few people that are that close to me that could be family. But they don't let themselves see me in that way. And it just makes me want to cry out. To feel needed. I want to feel wanted in somebodies life. I want to know they love me. But I just don't feel it. Crying out more and more for love, makes me only feel more pain. And I'm not sure how much more pain I can consume. I'm fragile. On the verge to break. Yeah, I'm starting to break.