.

Handing that blade over was the hardest thing I've done in a long time.
What was the point? They could've kept my journal. There's not really anything to hide in there. They know everything. Well, almost. I was angry. Upset. And anxious. After I dropped it into her hand, my heart just sank and my eyes watered up. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I went to hide myself under my blankets. I wanted to be alone, but I wanted to be held. I didn't know how to feel. My heart was confused. Why did I just do that? Why did I let them take it? But at the same time, I was relieved. Maybe this will be enough to stop me. Maybe I can just run forward from here.
I've come far, right? I want to keep going. I want to go further. I want to be happy.
But please, please don't give up on me. I still don't have faith in myself, but maybe your faith in me will help me develop some sense of strength in myself.. They kept telling me how strong I was. They kept telling me I've done good. They kept telling me I'm going to be okay. I know that I'm going to be okay. I really do know that. But, I didn't want to listen to them. I didn't want to take it in.
But maybe it was really worth it all in the end...