churchies.

That place confuses me. Makes me question more and more about who I am, and if this is what I really want. But for them, I want it all. Do I really want it for myself? Do I really want to be set free- just for myself?
As I lift my hands and forget about myself, I don't feel a thing. I don't feel anything. At all. Is that what it's going to be like for a while? Feeling nothing. Hearing nothing. Seeing nothing. Until I've lost all hope and then He comes and touches me? They say don't wait for a tangible feeling. Don't wait for His silent whisper. But have the faith that He will come through. How can I have the faith that He will touch me, heal me, set me free? I don't know anything. And I'm not sure if I want to. I'm not sure if I want to know the outcome.