baby, baby.

I'm going out today. And that will be a good thing. I think.
If I can distract myself from the need of ungraceful thinking. And you probably don't even know what I meant by that.
But I get to be around some of my favourite people. People that even if I'm not okay, I can be myself around them. But today, today is different. I want to show them something other than what I always am. They will see the happy Ashley. The Ashley that can smile, and can be okay. But will they know I'm faking it? I have no idea. But some of me hopes that they see through. The rest cringes at the thought.
I've just never been in this situation before. I feel like I'm a baby, learning how to walk. And as I stumbling, those who pick me up, see the darkness inside me. Even if they say they see the light surrounding me. But that's all it's doing. surrounding me. That is it. It's a tease. A big, fat tease.
And personally, I really don't think it is fair.
But lets hope I have a good day, today, huh.