It shouldn't be this easy to pretend that everything is okay.
It shouldn't be this easy to let everything fall apart.
And it shouldn't be this hard to not write about the happy things.
I know there's happy things there. I think about them a lot... Even if most of the time they don't make me happy. What's the point in trying to please everybody else when it just makes you feel worse? Don't try to please anybody, because that'll only make everything worse, for them and your relationship between them. Be yourself. Even if what you feel isn't pleasant. When you feel like crap, you don't need to take it out on anybody. You don't need to mope around in your own self-pity and misery. But you don't need to be fake. You don't need to paint that smile on your face. If that person really cared about you, really meant it when they said those things to you, they would prefer you to be yourself around them. Would prefer it if you showed your true emotions, no faking. No pretending. No painting.
"Why do you choose that pain? If you only knew how much I love you."
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