marking.

She's beating herself up because she feels like they can see through her. That she's on display. But what she's doing to herself when she's talking to Holly, makes it easier for her to be put in the spotlight.

One look in her eyes, and Holly can tell that she's broken. When you used to look in her eyes, you could see that she found her place in this world. That she was genuinely happy. But now all Holly could see, was sadness. Mere sadness. And it caused her pain.
There was so much depth in those beautiful blue and green eyes. Like they told their own story. More and more of who she was kept unfolding the longer you looked into them. The longer you tried to figure out what was going on in that head of hers.
Holly smiles, and tries her hardest to keep her heart together while she's speaking words of love into her life. But it's hard. She tries to tell Holly that she's really okay. And that it's okay for her to let her heart break, because even though she is not really okay, her heart still breaks for others. She tells Holly everything. Aboslutely everything that she's feeling, everything that's running through her head. And all Holly can say is that she loves her. She's sorry. And she'll never leave her. Even though she wanted more, that was enough. That's really all she wanted. Somebody to listen. Somebody to love her. And Holly did just that.
For the rest of their time together, she tried to be happy for Holly. She tried not to speak one negative thing about herself, tried not to say one depressive thing. But Holly knew that it was only a show. It was only to make her happy. And she appreciated that. But that's when Holly told her to only be real. Even if it's negative words, emotions. To be real with Holly is all that she wanted. And that's all that she was from that moment on.
She now knows she can tell Holly anything. But holds back because Holly deals with as much as she does. But as Holly keeps telling her to be honest with her, to be real with her, she just wants to open up to her more. And sometimes she's sorry for the way she acts. But Holly still loves her. And she will always love her. Because even though she's suffering, she's making her mark in this world.